Having a hard time accepting a compliment?

“This old thing?”

“No. You are just being nice.”

“It wasn’t me. I have a good team.”

Are you having a hard time accepting a compliment?

Join the club!

It doesn't matter if you have high or low self-esteem, studies show that women, in general, have a hard time accepting compliments.

Notice that most men don't have a hard time accepting compliments.

Not being able to accept a compliment is primarily a female phenomenon.

Your inability to accept a compliment has nothing to do with you having some

deep-rooted problem or some basic underlying fundamental structural defect.

Nope, it is none of that… Your inability to accept a compliment is learned behavior.

In our society, men are raised to trust themselves so they can be strong and confident.

In order to be strong and confident men need to learn to feel good about themselves.

In order for men to feel good about themselves they are taught as boys to believe the positive things that people say about them. Men are taught to accept and believe the compliments they are given. It makes them strong and confident.

Women… you, me, we... in our society we are raised to be good, worry about what other people think, and to serve.

Sure, women are taught to be strong and confident. BUT... and this is important... both men and women are taught that it is not good for women to be stronger than men.

Women have been taught that if you operate at the same level of strength and confidence as men it makes you, me, we... not likable, unappealing, not humble, not modest or too arrogant, too prideful, too conceited. Not “good.”

Without going deep into the social structures that have created this phenomenon, the fact remains that women being taught NOT to believe positive compliments that people say to them is quite frankly, messed-up.

It is also inaccurate, flawed, defective, unsound but mostly it is deeply hurtful to women.

Imagine yourself intentionally telling a child, “If someone says something nice about you do not believe them. You should reject compliments. They are not telling you the truth.”

Whether it is intentional or subconscious, when you don't accept a compliment you are telling yourself that you do not deserve people saying positive things to you.

And when you don't accept a compliment it makes you less strong. Ouch!

It is time to stop being mean to yourself and it is time to learn what we should have been taught as children...

It is time to learn to accept a compliment!

How To Accept a Compliment:

I used to be the absolute worst at accepting compliments. The. Worst!

Below is the exact technique that I developed to transform my skill-set and the skill-sets of my clients.

The process works remarkably well and you will get results with velocity.

1) Remember: Learning something new... always feels awkward at first. Always. This process is not an exception.

2) This is important to remember… when you feel awkward during the process of learning to accept a compliment… that you are doing it right!!! All skill-set development feels awkward in the beginning. It is not you. It is the process.

3) When someone gives you a compliment, say, “Thank you.” That is it. Nothing more nothing less.

4) Know that you will most likely have a strong urge to deny the compliment.

But don't do it! No defending. No justifying. Nope. Zip those lips!

5) If you do deny the compliment... do NOT beat yourself up. Learning something new is challenging; it is not only okay to make mistakes but everyone makes mistakes when they are learning. It is how learning works.

6) Rinse and Repeat these steps until you get good at accepting a compliment.

7) Be kind to yourself. This is hard...until it gets easy. And it will get easy. This is the exact technique that my clients use... it always works. Always!

8) Remember, although this is a simple and effective technique... as with any skill-set development, it does take practice!

9) With practice, you will be surprised how quickly you can transform your ability to hear, accept and embrace a compliment.

Once you learn to accept a compliment you are going to love hearing people say positive things about you… it is soooo much fun!!! Enjoy!!!