Learn to Stop Worrying and and Start Trusting Your Gifts and Talents.

With excitement I called three of my closest friends and told them,

“I am starting my coaching practice!”

I laugh when I think about each of them answering with their version of,

“It’s about time.”

When I first started studying personal transformation I was a young professional

and it was out of desperation.

I was just so damn tired of waking up morning after morning in my “not enoughness.”

Self doubt and lack of self confidence ruled my inner thoughts.

But from the outside looking in my life looked great. I lived a ten minute walk to the ocean. Drove a convertible. Was on track climbing the corporate ladder. I was living

the whole “work hard, play hard” vibe.

The fact was, back then, even thought I was successful and appeared confident, I was the most insecure confident person you had ever met.

Tough on the outside, but fragile on the inside.

Although I would never allow myself to show it, the smallest dig or criticism wounded me to my core. My suffering went undetected by others, but it was there and it was deep.

Now here is the thing, I came by that insecurity honestly. Growing up I was mentally

beat up in ways too long to explain in this note, but in ways that had destroyed my

self-esteem.

And even though I lacked inner confidence, I knew enough to know I had to appear tough. Weak was not an option if I wanted to survive.

When I tell this story to people, they usually give me the head tilt, look at me curiously and say, “Really? I can never imagine you not being confident.”

I have come to understand that being confident and not being confident live within everyone.

It is true, I am confident. Very confident. Especially now. And yet I still have moments. Can you relate?

The primary difference between then and now is that I have developed tools that

move me quickly from self doubt to confidence.

The short version of the story is that when I turned thirty years old I became tired

of the pain and I threw myself into studying personal transformation.

I attended workshop after workshop and I read anything I could get my hands on.

I was that woman in your seminar constantly raising my hand asking question

after question after question. And when the facilitator couldn’t answer the question,

I researched.

It was an endless cycle of study, research, practice. Practice. Practice. Practice.

I paid close attention to what worked. And what was a gimmick and BS.

And when I couldn’t find what I needed, I created it.

One thing that became apparent is that in the area of personal transformation,

most programs are created from a male point of view.

Which is not all bad. Men and women have many of the same overlapping issues.

But there are differences in the way men and women are raised in our society, which causes a huge variance in our thought processes and our personal expectations and experiences.

Men are raised to be strong. Which means that they are taught to trust themselves

and be confident from a very young age.

They are also taught that making mistakes is not a big deal.

“Aah…heck… boys will be boys.”

In general, women on the other hand are not raised to be strong. Well, you can be strong, but just not too strong. And certainly not as strong as a man. Women are raised to be a good girl, worry what other people thing of them and serve others. The primary component of being a “good girl” is making other people happy.

We are taught to watch, edit and manage ourselves in order to please others.

We are not taught how to be strong like men. Therefore we are not taught how to

trust ourselves as much as men trust themselves.

When you are raised to be good, there is very little room for error. You never hear,

“girls will be girls.” Nope. Never. Ever.

Distinguishing these basic differences between how men and women are raised gave me perspective about my insecurities and lack of confidence.

It gave me freedom to learn that what was missing was my ability to trust my gifts

and talents. And to learn to stop worrying about what people thought of me and

my decisions.

I know what it feels like to live years and years stuck and trapped in my own insecurities and self-doubt.

I know what it feels like to live years and years trusting myself.

I know what it feels like to own the feeling of embracing my kind, generous

and powerful self.

And so... eight years ago when I called my friends and they said, “It’s about time.”

I agreed with them wholeheartedly.

It was about time I followed my passion.

It was about time to stop worrying about doing it right and step powerfully into my coaching talent.

It was about time I stopped talking about the work I had created and started teaching the processes to other people hungry for change just like I was.

=> Here is what I want you to think about…

What in your "It's about time?"

How would your life look at the end of this year if you embraced your dreams?

And wouldn’t it be wonderful when you called your girlfriends to report that you accomplished your goal and they said in a loving and supportive way, “It’s about time.”

It is closer than you think….. And “It’s about time.”